Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Fun Lilliy Question: Do Men Buy Lingerie For Their Women?

When I was in high school a friend of mine told me about an odd tradition in their family (or tribe) that the fiance when he and his family are brining gifts for his feature bride he usually places the lingerie he would like her to wear on their wedding night at the bottom of the wrapping full of cloths or fabric (in those days and till now but less so, a lot of the women cloths were tailored by a tailor, the style would be chosen from a fashion magazine and they used to choose certain fabrics and give it to a tailor and it was made into the dress she wants) which used to be custom to be give by the groom..
I see sometimes some men come into lingerie stores and start choosing things.. but I also noticed they try to avoid looking at people shopping around them.. I know in the west the men are more comfortable buying it I think?..
So are men comfortable buying lingerie for their women? are some embarrassed if they did? do they admit it? or do they like it to be kept a secret? or do they just like that the woman chooses it her self and thats that and would never venture into that world or be seen there buying on his own?
Women!.... what do you think do you like receiving such a gift chosen by your man? Do you mind it if he goes to the lingerie store?
I found this on "Telegraph TV" , if you are a man and want to buy lingerie, this is a video for you "Lingerie: a man's guide"


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21 comments:

rosh said...

Hmmmm interesting....well to be honest, I have never (had an opportunity) to purchase women's lingerie. Given we were raised in a conservative (well sorta) nation/city - it's not like 20 something men can walk into a store and just buy 'em.

Having said that, I think it depends on the occasion, the culture & the location. Here in the city, it's not unusual for a man to do - the sales ladies treat you like any other customer male or female, and even extent "helpful" hints/suggestions.

Whilst strolling the malls I've walked in with female friends into a Victoria's Secrets here in the City. My friends ahave asked my opinion on a few stuff - I've been honest to extent my two fils. Likewise few male friends have purchased women's lingerie (amongst other girly stuff) as gifts for girlfriends. I have not purchased lingerie from VS, however have other VS feminine products as birthday/seasonal present for friends. To be honest, on the few ocassions I've strolled in by myself, I've been a bit conscious, because - let's face it - it's known as a "women's garment store" :)

Inspire Your Mind said...

Go Lilliy go.. loved this post..

I'm sure you're thrilled to hear IYM's opinion about her favorite topic for discussion; that is intimacy.. LOL..
So, let's start and never stop..LOL

It's not the lingerie per se as it's what's it's used for and how you can make 'the best out of it'..
I wouldn't want to have an arranged marriage with my gift box 'arranged' by his family (mom or sisters) while he doesn't take an effort exploring my desires and needs.. better said 'our' desires and 'our' pleasurable needs..

Intimacy means nothing but mature communication including sexual communication.. and as I keep saying: Sexual pleasure is a blessing on it's own; it adds so much to partner bondage and the general well-being of a love relationship.. and I remember once telling you that those endorphins released with sex (coitus) is 15-30 times more potent than Opiates (Morphines) and if people knew this they would have been addicted to this God-given-gift.. right?

But above all, the more comfortable you are with your own body and sexuality to start with; the more comfortable you will be with your lover.. and yes it has to be MUTUAL.. I wouldn't expect someone who doesn't take an effort educating himself/herself sexually to be as giving and recieving as someone who has the initiative to explore and learn.. right?

And just to make one point very clear here.. IT'S YOUR LOVING HUSBAND/WIFE/PARTNER WHO SHOULD SHARE PLEASURE WITH YOU AND NOT YOUR CULTURE.. YOU DO NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR CULTURE, AND YOUR CULTURE DOES NOT SLEEP WITH YOU !

Cultural codes kept changing all the time but love remained stable and kept it's tantalizing shape and touch throughout centuries.. So, please my friends, do not abandon pleasure for the illusion of your culture.. life is beautiful and it's worth exploring all of it's pleasurable treasures one of which is sexual pleasure ( with your husband/wife if you want to be observant of your religious tradition ).

Be it lingeries; or foreplay games; or sex toys for couples; or watching porn or educational movies ( I mean name it, the choices are wide open ).. the bottom line is the same " ENJOY A GENUINE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP " .

LOVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW..

BuJ said...

:-)

wallah you all made me laugh.. from the poster.. to the commenter number 1 (rosh) to the commenter number 2 (sex therapist without the mustache - IYM)..

hehehehehe

ROSH please cover your eyes mate.. you can't read this stuff.. lol

rosh said...

IYM: woman you are this rare breed. Agree with you 101% - it's about being human - and wanting to explore God given sentiments and needs. I hate it, when society budges in, and if a lady is so damn shy, innocent, pretentious - such complete turn offs. I take all you say with respect.

The only aspect I hope to add is that people must be mature before taking the plunge. I hate it, when my friends go bed hopping - it's like they devalue each other and sex. And then there are some of us, who shall wait for the right partner in life - because, physical intimacy is more than "wham bam thank-you mam" - it's exchanging oneself with another soul, there must be mutual respect, love and understanding for each other.

Don't you dare call me a drama queen now :p

Inspire Your Mind said...

Rosh.. if your friends don't follow your way of living, it doesn't mean they are wrong and you're Mr.Right ! Nothing is wrong with experimenting ( you call it bed hopping ) .. In fact, it's a phase that most men and women go through even if they don't admit to it !

Inspire Your Mind said...

LOL BuJ.. no I don't have a mustache..
But hey, we haven't visited him for a while now! He must be missing us ! No ?

Liliy said...

hmmmmm... great discussion.. very heated as the subject..
Rosh... so men can feel uncomfortable in a VS store as I understood from you.. but do you think that if there was a special person you are really comfortable with you would go through the effort.. I know in NY they are very helpful the sales persons who are usually women.. to anyone.. I guess it also depends on the store.. that they make it as a matter of fact.. I know I would like it if I get a gift chosen like that in a special occasion.. but in KSA I my self are not comfortable to buy because the sales people are men.. I really cant buy undergarments.. I feel my self very self concise and as you know the culture here I dont think they wont look at the things I would buy in a very innocent manner..

IYM... I love you.. I knew this would get you going thats why I couldn't resist the temptation.. thank you for the sexology lesson on intimacy and experimentation.. you really have to open a clinic when you get back because you really have a great talent for it.. and I think like this topic.. a lot of couple need counseling to become comfortable with experimenting.. so it would be great coming from a trained OBGYN in sexology.. you go girl!

Buj.. You are one of those guys that would avoid looking at other people right?.. lol ..

Rosh.. I agree with you I think a lot of people have gone into the haze of bed hopping.. which to me.. with respect to your opinion IYM.. this is my idea on it..is too bad.. to the point that they become Numb and lose the feeling that this is something to share as an intimacy when they do find the right person.. I know there is a lot of experimentation out there but where do you draw the line.. and after the experimentation will they regain that when they share it with a special person.. do they really feel how special it is or they take it like eating food and thats that..to me as an emotional woman it confuses me...

rosh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rosh said...

IYM, the tone of your response is not appreciated.

Individuals are free to lead lives as they see fit. I have never judged someone's lifestyle. However, I shall debate what I feel is valid.

If you are at privity to what some friends (married & single) have to say on strangers whom they "scored" with last weekend, yet unable to recall a name, perhaps you'd understand my two fils. In that, I strongly feel "bed-hoppers" devalue self, erode society and moral values in general.

There is a fundamental difference with a "player" or a "slut" - and those who have healthy premarital sex with multiple partners. I do not follow such ways of life, however, I do not condone or judge those who follow the latter.

Lilly, apologies.

Inspire Your Mind said...

My tone does not need to be 'appreciated' as there was no tone to start with !

Some guys out there are just too sensitive to 'illusional' tones ! Maybe it's just blogsphere !

As a clinician, we learned not to judge people and to just give them a tolerant ear no matter what their practices are.. I worked with HIV patients (gays and heterosexuals) and I never questioned them how they catched the virus..I just listened to them compassionately while they were shedding their tears in grieve!

The point is, I mind my own business and I give care when needed (as a doctor).. so if what I said sounded like I don't have moral values when it comes to bed-hopping ; for sure that got interpreted wrong ! I don't think I pinpointed to my own personal preferences; a matter that I only disclose with my lover and no one else !

And yes Lilliy, I agree with you.. there is a very fine line between being mature about experimentation and between devoiding oneself of love and care and just being nothing but a guinee pig kinda thing ! But hey, that's how some people mature through the process any ways.. don't you think so ?

Thanks for your compliment Lilliy about my talents in sexology.. I know exactly what the magnitude of the problem is back home.. 60% divorce rate is not a joke at all.. and believe it or not, 90% of it has to do with initmacy issues including leading a healthy sexual life.. !

BuJ said...

wow.. big time argument here.. lol.. as long as everyone enjoys it.. i guess it's ok.. especially if someone learns something out of this :)

I have to say my position is the average of Rosh and IYM's.. in that I don't advocate total celebacy but i don't advocate bed hopping! If you don't experiment a bit b4 marriage then you will be more likely to cheat once ur married and also you will be less likely to know how to satisfy ur partner because of your lack of experience.. the key is a balanced approach.

Inspire Your Mind said...

Yup yup I agree with you BuJ..

And I'm not an extremist either when it comes to experimentation.. I'm just 'tolerant' to what others practice ( given my job nature ).. and non-judgmental of course :)

Lilliy, how come you disappeared ? ha ? ha ?
Don't leave me alone with the boys here.. come on show up and let's make a gang .. LOL

BuJ said...

haha.. a gang of two?

me and Steffi-Lover can take you down in no time.. actually wait.. I can probably take you two down in no time hehehe

mind you, I dunno much about lilly.. maybe she has a secret weapon.. etc..

Liliy said...

Lol... Ok first of all the question was.. do men buy lingerie for their women?.. somehow we ended up in personal opinions about some call it "experimenting".. others call it "bed hopping"..
What I think is.. that every one should listen to other peoples opinion and just state their own.. and the other who doesn't have the same opinion should not attack the other if it was different.. because we are all adults and we all have a right to say what we think in any matter without someone taking it personal..
If somehow the subject changed to what do you think about "Bed hopping" a.k.a " experimenting".. each one of us share what you think of it and what is your opinion with out making it personal.. its an opinion..and we dont have to agree with each other..
LOL .... Now.. Guys dont you go gan up on my best friend IYM thats when I take it personal.. we gals can take you.. dont underestimate girls power.. didn't you guys see Charles Angels.. looool.....
IYM.. Rosh.. Buj.. Thank you for the heated discussion.. you made my blog turn red hot instead of pink.. lol... now you made me think to put something even more controversial than this.. to keep such heat in the comments.. I like this.. hmmmmm..
and the other thing dont be fighting on my birthday..

Inspire Your Mind said...

BuJ.. I'm already taken down by my secret weapon ;)

Lilliy.. no reds here please, otherwise I'll go wild in public.. I'm sure someone wouldn't like this :) Privacy..privacy..

Happy Birthday Love.. it used to be the 14th, why did you change it to the 13th girl ?

Inspire Your Mind said...

Oh..
I think I know where Steffi gets her lingeries from ;)

Liliy said...

IYM.. I never underestimate your secret weapons.. lol..

IYM said...

;) Lilliy.. did I tell you about the latest in the field ?
It's called the " Epicenter".. google it and we'll talk about it in details if you're interested..
;)

len20 said...

My wife asks me to buy her underwear every Christmas and birthday. It's one of my favorite things to shop for.

Lilliy said...

Hi Len20 and welcome to my blog..
I think its very sweet to receive a lingerie gift especially on special occasions for couples.. women love this stuff ..

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